Critial Errors Invites Kludge Spot Over

Gentle Reader;

I received a guest blogging invitation from my friend Andy over at his review blog, Critical Errors. Considering that I haven't been blogging here, I jumped at the chance to force my hand at writing something.

I was asked to do a Christmas themed review post. I decided on a review of snow.  So, I encourage you to drop in an have a look!

Hopefully that jump start will help me

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For the Love of Ants

What could be more noble than an ant? What creature could be a better example of what is right and good in the world? What person can not say that the studious, devoted, hard working ant was anything but the best that the insect world could create?

They aren't slimy like a worm. They aren't poisonous like a millipede. They don't consume their spouses like a preying mantis. They don't sting

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The Mayans Were Right

I have been neglecting my blog, not because I have nothing to say, but because I cannot think of anything amusing. The truth is lately I've been rather depressed. As far as I'm concerned 2012 has lived up to all its dire predictions and I will not be the least surprised if the world came to a fiery end before I complete this posting.


March 2012

Dear Diary,
I have to admit, I'm feeling pretty

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Another Day At The Office

As I sit here in my office staring at quad core computers, large LCD monitors, high end speakers, company laptops and friendly office white boards all I can think is, "I really want to steal something!" Must be September 19th again...

Pirates are a free and happy bunch. Back in a time when men in powdered wigs, breeches, high heels and ruffled collars ruled the land what was a free thinker to do

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5 Haiku's: Buffalo Wing Regret

Wings of buffaloWhy do you torture me so?I love to hate youWings of buffaloWhen will you ever let me go?My belly begs for deathWings of buffaloOh spices you burn my tongueThen tush as you goWings of buffaloMy toilet is quite displeasedI need more CloroxWings of buffaloI'm sure I'll never have againUntil the next time -Peter Brown 2012

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Seriously...

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Servicing The Car: Confessions of a Geek.

My truck has been making this funny noise for a while now. I really really really need to take it in for a service check but I hate doing it. Every time I turn my truck in for service I'm at the mercy of some who knows I don't have a clue.

So I'll call up and say, "Yes, my car is making a funny noise"

"Right. Bring her in!"

Obviously they cannot diagnose funny noises over the phone, that's

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You Made Me Fat: A Blog of Blame

I started a new blog project. Something for the emotional binge eaters who need a need a platform for anonymous confession.





You Made Me Fat  Confessions of emotional eaters: A cathartic blog of blame.

In my mind this is a place for people to share what stresses or joys have led to a more full figure.  I of course will be adding my own revelations but will also be taking submissions. I'm am

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Giving Myself An Ulcer

I'm giving myself an ulcer. It's an early birthday present. I haven't done anything nice for me in a while and thought maybe I should correct that. So this is what I came up with. Loads of unnecessary stomach acid churned with my doubt, anxiety and penchant for eating away all my troubles. A truly unique present, that is presently always present.

So... We bought our house in January of 2005.

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Bridge Sreet Re-visted

I'm re-vising one of my all time favorite posts. I got this crazy idea one day and it just sort of became this. Since there are so many new followers here, this should be something new for you... Enjoy!

"I said take Washburn Ave."

"I don't want to take Washburn, I want to take Bridge."

"Steve, you can't get to Madison from Bridge."

"Molly, I've been going Bridge to Madison for ten years, will

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Giving Away The Internets

Such a strange new world we find ourselves in. Something that was once a sought after commodity is now cheap currency on the world market. It used to be that the thing itself was worth something, but now everyone is just giving it away.

When did we start giving away the Internet? Who decided that we couldn't charge for this anymore? Why is everyone convinced that free Internet is what we need

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Stealer Wheel Screwed My Algorithm

Apparently, adding Stealer Wheel to your Pandora stations is equivalent to flipping the "please play some crazy crap" toggle.





    

No, Pandora I don't want to listen to TeddyBears or Butthole Surfers...

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Wireless Installation

Working in a small IT shop affords many benefits. One of the best is being able to perform so many different jobs. Today I found myself installing new wireless access points in one of our buildings.

These are little square devices that connect to the metal frameworks that support false ceilings. It allowed me to learn a couple of things.

1. Ceiling tiles are evil
2. People love to watch other

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Puns

Yes the second lowest form of humor (just over slapstick) is on KludgeSpot. Enjoy!

I changed my i Pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
How does Moses make his tea?

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Kludge Klassic: A Sneaker Suspicion

I was sitting comfortably at my desk, earning my living, when something tickled my ankle bone. This unknown then began to work its way down between my shoe and foot towards my sole. There was only the thin cotton of my sock protecting me from this unknown thing. I looked, very calmly down at my shoe, and didn’t see anything. There could be no real doubt about it though, there is something in my

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The Practice Of Dovetails

As everyone with half a brain knows, dovetail joints are the hardest joint to make in woodworking. People with whole brains however, dispute this fact and are generally more articulate at expressing their views.I like power tools. They're fast, reliable and make for cuts that are highly repeatable. When it comes to working with hand tools, none of those things can be said about me. I'm slow,

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Lazy Thursday Blues: Magic Eyes 4

Lazy Thursday Blues!! It's been a while but here we go! Anyone reading this that recalls the 90's craze that was Magic Eyes?! We had a giant poster sided one at my school that took me days to get. I stood there for what felt like hours trying to see anything other than a pretty blue pattern smeared on a printed sheet of paper. Even worse was standing there staring at the thing while fellow

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Three Short Months

Three months is a long time. It funny because it doesn't feel that long but it is. Three months ago I did something kinda crazy. I went on a juice diet. I drank my breakfast lunch and dinner for 10 days. 10 days sounded like a piece of cake when I started. Day 1 -"Shoot," I mused. "This is going to be nothing. I can do 10 days easy." I was such a fool back then. Day 3 - My headaches were so bad

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Trackballs and the Promise of the Future

Trackballs look like the future. They are sleek, odd and different. They do exactly what mice do, but do it while looking awesome. Trackballs are a vision of tomorrow. Except......they don't quite live up to that hope. They don't work any better than mice, in fact in some ways they are less useful. They tend to gum up pretty easily, and require frequent cleaning. In addition to that, they're

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Things That Are Impossible

#54 - Looking tough playing the flute#78 - Understanding the lyrics to Come Together by the Beatles#12 - Having any good reason for skipping#32 - Re-reading a mystery novel with any enthusiasm #33 - Reading Moby Dick with any enthusiasm#6 - Believing someone who has to use the phrase, "Trust me"#15 - Playing Super Mario Bros. without humming or whistling the theme song.

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The Book Parade

My wife loves is when the local library has their book sale. She spends hours perusing and then comes home with a load of grocery bags full of books we never read.The Outdated Western Farms Garden- How to maintain your garden in bell bottoms and leisure suits.The Router Handbook- 100 completely unsafe things to do with your 1/2 hp fixed base router in a series of poorly drawn diagrams.The Jello

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Fantastically Lacking Post Collage

In looking over the suggestions remaining in the Will Work For Posts post I decided to combine them into a fantastically lacking post collage. Why a collage? It sounds better than hodgepodge....Suggestion by Homestyle Mama (with a side of autism):"I really liked your coffee post. The one where the cup never emptied :)"I don't think this was so much a suggestion as just a reader being polite. Sort

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How People See Me: PC Gamer

A little mindless humor...Let me know what you think, or do one for yourself! Here's a blank template for you. It's pretty fun.

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Slamming Headache

Suggestion by HMC4ever12 : "What are your thoughts on slam poetry? have you ever been in/seen a performance?"I have a headache. Not one of those little nagging ones. I mean a real mother-lode type headache. The type where you can feel the blood pulsing through your skull "thump-thump. thump-thump" It's rhythm is haunting, its beat is entrancing and the pain of it is just at the edge of bearable.

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Network Engineer: How People See Me

There is a new meme going around. How people see me, here's the one I just did. Let me know what you think, or do one for yourself! Here's a blank template for you. It's pretty fun.

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FauxCation

In the middle of February Patricia and I went on a FauxCation. We knew we couldn't get away for any period of time, but thought we might enjoy some time off while the younglins were in school. Add to that a brilliant showing by my inlaws offering to take two sick girls all day and night Friday and we even managed to stay in a hotel one night.It was quite relaxing. During our Friday and Saturday

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Is There Pork in Heaven?

Suggestion by QueenBear: "Why don't you tell us what happens to people when they die? Do their spirits stay with us? Or are they in some other dimension where they don't have anything to do with us? Or do we just turn to dirt? What do you think?"Thanks for the question! We've all heard stories of ghost sightings and strange occurrences regarding the great beyond. Houses where people swear they

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Will Work For Posts

I need to post to get the last post off the top but I haven't got much to talk about. This blog has never been a journal, and I don't intend it to become that. This has alway been a place for me to share my most ridiculous ideas and a place for me to try and be creative. So posting that I'm not eating much, working hard or engaged in politics just doesn't cut it. I haven't had any new ideas

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Winner!

Last night at 8:12 I realized I hadn't drawn names yet!So I cut up an Offical KludgeSpot Pink Post-it© note and hastily scribbled names on it. Given the sheer volume of past winners in the mix I'm blown away that there wasn't a repeat winner...This pen is heading to Missy in the sweltering Arizona heat! Congrats, and thanks to everyone for playing and keep looking forward to the next one!Shoot me

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January Pen Giveaway

It's time for another Pen Giveaway! Click here for past giveaway results. I will be giving away another of my cross style pens. This one is made of Brazilian Cherry (Jatoba) and is super slick!All you need to do to enter is comment below. As I'm still in the middle of my diet, I would love to hear what you all are eating. If it has any meat or cheese in it, you can bet it's better than what I'm

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The Super Bowl

Fill it with chips and you've got your own perfect party...

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Peters Theorem of Domestic Relativity

Albert Einstein said lots of stuff. I'm sure most of you are aware of that. Some of the things he said makes sense to me. Most of what he said made sense to no one but the most brilliant minds on Earth. Odds are if you are reading this blog, you're not too smart either. Which means that no matter how much I screw up his theories no one reading this is ever going to know!Now that we have

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Ultimate Advances in Self Deprecation

I am hungry. Very hungry.In a constant battle of man versus buffalo wings I have been a near heroic figure. If I could take that a step further I would claim a near godhood. Of all the people that I know there are few who champion the cause of over-eating as much as I do. It is fun, it tastes good and I genuinely look forward to it. The trouble isn't the looking forward it's the looking down. As

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Allergic To Cactus

"I'm allergic to cactus.""What do you mean?""I mean, it hurts when it gets on me""Uh...not to be rude but uh, it hurts everyone. That's why you don't touch it.""I know, but it's different... it leaves these little circle pin pricks on me.""Hum. Yeah, okay. You don't know much about cactus do you?"Seriously though, I am allergic to cactus.

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Coup d'état Le Télévision

After a week of sitting around the house over Christmas break Patricia and I resolved to get us and the kids some fresh air on Saturday. This was said Friday night as we climbed into bed after a day of doing absolutely nothing productive all day long. The strain of vacation was getting to us and the lack of structure was going to drive us insane. Saturday morning greeted us with her frosty charm

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