Weighing In

I am overweight. Of all the members of my household, my bathroom scale is the most aware of this fact. It is aware of it, because I frequently hoist my girth upon it and ask it a simple question."Have I lost some of me?""No. You seem to have found more of you.""Crap."Apparently over the years it has begun to see a pattern. If I go up. I get on it again, just to be sure."Are you positive?""