Merry Christmas Internet

Merry Christmas Internet!

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Skinny Jeans

When you say:I see this:I but mostly this:Skinny Jeans. I doubt the trend will last past the overindulgence of the holiday. Thank heavens for little blessings!

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Children & Light Boxes

What happens when my five year old gets a hold of my light box."Daddy can I take some pictures too?""uh...What do you want to take pictures of?""Princess?""Of course." Click"What else do you have?""That, I can work with!"

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Kludge Klassic: Hoisting The Jolly Roger

Upon reading the title of todays post, you might be asking yourself one of two questions:"Why pirates Peter?"or"How in the world did I get to this stupid page?"As for the later, I cannot begin to understand the inner workings of search engine algorithms, let me instead take a stab at the former.I imagine it's because they live rather short and exciting lives. Out of the reach of the law,

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Coffee Everlasting

Today I was driving down the road when I turned and looked at the person next to me. I do this all the time and I know I'm not alone in this practice. Daily, I'll gaze over and hope for a brief glimpse into their dull life, believing in my heart that it is as pathetic and meaningless as mine. Actually that's not true. I actually wish that theirs is much more pathetic and meaningless than mine.

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Pen Giveaway Winner

So... I really should have taken a picture of this pen but I never did. I intended to but my state of the art fancy pants light box seen here:wasn't setup and I was a little tired last night from being in the garage all day making stuff and junk and stuff. Anyway, so the name drawn from a small pile of 6 is Drew, er Mr. M .... Make that Drake Davenport! I have no idea which Internet pseudonym is

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Giving Thanks Giveaway

It's time for another Pen Giveaway! Click here for past giveaway results.I will be giving away another of my cross style pens. As past winners can attest, they are quite nice (shameless self promotion) and make excellent gifts. So enter to win and mark a gift off your Christmas shopping list.Now for the game...Tell us what you're thankful for this Holiday season. If that's too much effort or too

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Survival

I found myself left to my own devices in the wild lands. Thrown into a survival situation where man is pitted against nature. I did my best to fend off the threats of the untamed boondocks that was my personal jungle. Like all good survivors I assessed my surrounding and took in all the resources I could gleam from a first glance. Then this old bushman began ticking off my internal list of

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Veronica Is A Hard Working Girl

Veronica is a hard working girl and I use her services quite frequently. She's always there for me and at my beck and call. I like her close beside me and hold her very tight. Now there are times with she seems a bit unresponsive but for the most part she suits my needs. I got her for a bargain and she was practically a steal for what she's worth. In truth my wife picked her out and new she was

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I Plumbered It Real Good

Sunday night. Why in the world would I honestly believe that Sunday night was the best time to begin a plumbing project? I must have been channeling the spirit of my plumbing impaired father for I believed that it would be a simple adjustment and would not cause me half a week of grief and angst.It was Sunday night the 30th of October. At 10:00 PM was brushing my teeth and getting ready to go to

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Bruce Banner Costume

One white lab coat embroidered with "Dr. Banner Physicist". A green shirt & purple tie.+One set of wire rim glasses+Avengers & Shield ID tags+High tech Gamma Bomb plans+A set of green contacts= My Bruce Banner Halloween costume."You don't want to see me when I'm angry..."Shout out to my wife for the idea and this guy for the details

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Pizza Pen Prize Winner

Last night after a rousing episode of Mythbusters (The flying guillotine) I had Patricia draw a name out of a sweaty San Francisco Giants hat.Matt & Robin are victorious. I am happy for them but honestly am I ever going to draw someone that doesn't require shipping charges! :) Thanks to everyone for playing. Keep checking in, as I'm sure I'll do another!Matt & Robin email me your address and I'll

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Fun Facbook Games

There is a Giveaway going on right now. Enter before Oct 30th for your chance to win a handmade wooden pen!Now that the announcement is out of the way... I was bored. As a result I went on Facebook and as a result I came up with a great new idea.Fun Facebook Games#1:Post "Happy Birthday" on someones wall when it isn't their birthday. See how many of their friends follow suit...#2Make up a new

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Pizza Pen Giveaway

It's time for another Pen Giveaway! Click here for past giveaway results.Here is the item in question. A Maple/Yellowheart pen. This is a cross style pen finished with a mirror shine. Now for the game...This is the cover from a Chicago Deep Dish Pizza that I recently consumed with friends. What percentage of this pizza is sausage? Or tell me why you would rather I'd send you a Lou Malnatis deep

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Immersed In Politics

As of late I have been immersed in politics. Don't worry gentle readers, this is not a political thread. Well, I suppose strictly speaking it is but not like that. I'm not here to persuade anyone to my side or convince you of the correctness of my political vision. That simply isn't furthering my cause of "keeping the Internet weird"I don't have television in my house. That is, I do not subscribe

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When IMAXed My Eardums Lost

It was a stunning theater with seating for 600+ or so in the heart of Santa Clara near my Sunnyvale hotel room. I was down in San Jose last week for wireless training and during the evenings needed something other than Penn & Teller on Discovery channel to keep myself entertained. I had watched Rise of the Planet of the Apes the night before and was bitten by the movie bug. Since the local 20-

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Jobs 1955 - 2011

And the man who always could pick a winner has passed. Technology might not ever be the same.

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Bad Lip Reading Clip

I love this. It's NOT political. Just for giggles...

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Sandy Pen Giveaway!

The Giveaway is complete. Thanks to everyone for playing!Last night sucked, and I didn't get to drawing names. This morning I added all the names (two entries for those liking Kludge Spot on FB) to my office coffee mug. Clearly the winner was KAS Congrats! I'll be sending you out this mesquite pen. Simply shoot me an email (link on bottom right of the main blog page) and I'll get your shipping

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Sandy Wednesday Giveaway

It's time for another pen Giveaway! Click here for past giveaway results.Here is the item in question. A mesquite hardwood pen. This is a cross style pen finished with a mirror shine. Now for the game...I drew this picture in the sand a few days back while at the beach. My youngest daughter laughed openly at my artistry and assured me it looked nothing like what I had planned. All you have to do,

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More Death Less Caffeine: Revisted

What the hell? First my sendmail box is axed and now my coffee maker kicks the bucket? I mean sure we can manage with a Windows box taking over for smtp functions. We've all adjusted to meaningless event log entries, stupid glurge icons and pointless clicking through Microsoft menus, but my coffee pot? How much pain can one man endure!My wife wakes me up the other morning."Hon, the coffee pot

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Trouble

Running just means you get more crap on your back...

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A Gentleman in Traffic

This morning on the way into the office I was wearing an old flannel shirt sporting no less than three holes in it. (For the record I'm still wearing it and have not decided to go all 'office nudist.' I'm sure my coworkers appreciate that.) In addition to my old shirt I didn't shave this morning and as such am a bit grizzly looking. (In that overweight baby faced geeky sort of grizzly look. You

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Uselessness

As a point of clarification, I believe that more people read this blog on OS X than any other OS. Is that irony or just coincidence? Either way, kinda funny...

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20 Signs You're A Lame Superhero

One of your best powers is turning into a bucket of water.You're the female version of a real superhero. She-Thing? Seriously?You have an invisible jet plane given to you by the Amazons.You can speak with insects.You can speak with dolphins.You're half vampire.The X-Men couldn't even find a good use for you.You battle eco-villans and worldwide industrialism.Your superhero name, chosen to strike

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Hammer Time

You will not find this procedure in the manual for the $10,000 Quantum Superloader that up until recently resided in one of the racks of our server room. That doesn't mean it is not an effective means of extraction when the bolt has been stripped and your hand will not fit into the space to grip it. Plus hammers bring with them their own credence and understanding. A hammer rarely says, "I'm here

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Lazy Thursday Blues: Caption 31

Here are a couple more pictures dying for a caption!!Jimmy got the feeling that he MIGHT have been swindled...Dan didn't get an invite back to the Hughes house after that. He's still unsure what went wrong.Found on the Web:

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Poking Myself In The Eye

I touched my eyeball this morning! Good heavens that freaking hurts. I was surprised as anyone. How do these things happen? Shouldn't we, of all people, be in charge of what our hands are doing? How many times have I rubbed my eye in the 34 years of my existence?! I would imagine that it is something that I would be the best equipped person on the planet to handle. Rubbing my own eye. It's not

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The Case For Games: Revisited

I'm a devoted PC gamer, I enjoy them because they stretch the imagination, immerse you in plot, and transport you to another world. Plus they let you repeatedly make bad decisions and blow up crap with stunning graphics and sound!

As far as I'm concerned games are the natural evolution of entrainment media. Consider:

Books rescued people from the humdrum boredom of their life, and the harsh

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John Moves Forward

John Josephson had an interesting ability. He could stop traffic any time, anywhere. All John had to do was decide to get going and all forward progress would get gone.

Now as far as John was concerned the roads were always a bear. He had to leave from his house 58 minutes early just to arrive 30 minutes late to work. If he wanted to be on time he would start out with two hours to kill in

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20 Things I Learned From Star Trek

Our mission is to seek out new life and new civilizations in order to make them just like us.
The Federation comes in peace. But if you provoke us we'll light you up like a warp core!
The functionality of any technology is inversely proportional to to it's urgency of need.
There is no crime on Earth, there is also no money. It is a very boring place, which is why we're in space, shooting photon

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Lazy Thursday Blues: Caption 30

I used to do these every Thursday. Anyone still here who remembers them? Here are a couple to get you started...

It is strong like the bond between man and lobster...

I don't know how it started but it end with the phrase, "Hold my beer and check this out..."

Links:

Garfield Minus Garfield A bit strange and almost completely useless.

Savage Chickens. Do yourself a favor and check it out...

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"My life" - The Game

"Good Morning, Commander Shepard"

"At ease Lieutenant. What's was in this mornings briefing from the council?"

"Today we've got to organize the warehouse and check on the cable supply for the upcoming network clean up. Then later someone needs to sift through the logs on the mail server and see why sendmail is failing to send low memory alerts and CPU spikes to the group e-mail account."

"Did

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iMac? Say It's Not So!

So I just got a new work laptop. My old laptop was purchased in 2004 and routed to me in June of 2005. It has been a faithful companion with a simple and stable Windows XP OS. I have kept it clean of temporary files, viruses and any bloat-ware.

In return it has dutifully connected to any and all network devices I have thrown it's way. Email, routers, Interwebing or whatever I needed. But the

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A Sunday Afternoon

To quote a friend: "Do you know what my favorite thing about moving is? Nothing!"

A friend had solicited volunteers in helping them move. Personaly I've always enjoyed the process. What could be better than a giant puzzle game? You get the fun of lifting heavy objects, the stimulation of finding the best course of action in navigating hallways, stairs or other obstacles plus the exercise and

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Mind Boggling

So I met him. Yes him;the statistical improbability of the universe. Sure it was hard to believe at first but I suppose sooner or later someone would meet him or at least we would all hear a report on his condition. It just so happens I chatted with him, the one guy left in the United States of America who has not seen Star Wars.

I was flabbergasted. Of course I responded to him in an

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Beware The Walrus

I cannot begin to imagine that this sign is legit. Regardless it makes me laugh.


Of course I'm not taking any chances, and have begun to prepare for the invasion...

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Holding Back The Tide

Why do we sometimes wait to go pee,
Instead of setting our caged liquids free?

Why do we sit for a couple beats later,
Ignoring our urges to which we should cater?

Why do we squirm in our seats in denial,
Of the river inside that should flow like the Nile?

Why do we walk by a restroom and think,
I can hold back the dam right up to the brink?

Why do we wait till our bladders are bursting,

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Stretching

I used to write a 500 word post everyday, at part of this blog. I thought in the beginning that it was super simple. I could always find something to crank out and wax ridiculous about. Afterwards I would go back and tweak it, fix any errors I could find and do my best to be slightly witty or at least abnormal. If that post wasn't the best at least you knew there would be one tomorrow.

In fact I

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Birthday Giveaway Results!

The Giveaway is complete. Thanks to everyone for playing!

Last night about 8 O'clock or so I had Patricia pull the names out of my dirty baseball cap. Check out pictures on the Facebook page!

The first runner up was Mr. M! And will get to choose a pin or magnet from one of my cafepress shops. Allergy to Nature
Battle of Wits
Beg for Bacon
Broadsword
Extra Spicy
Flees from Bees
Fueled by

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Birthday Giveaway!

Today is my 34th Birthday and I'm celebrating like a Hobbit. You get the gift!! That's right I'm giving away another pen. This one is awesome!! ONLY 2 Days Left!!

It is made from juniper bush. Recall this post? Juniper Roots



All you have to do, is post a comment below. Tell me you want the pen, what color your hair is or why you think my feet smell like rotten cheese. Whatever. No

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Surviving Summer

When I was kid, summer was magical. It was a time when teachers had lost their controlling grip and my parents cared little for my whereabouts or even showed much concern for my bedtime. Summer for me was long days spent by the pool and the familiar smell of my fathers BBQ. I recall birthday parties, long bike rides with friends and a total freedom that was unparalleled for any other time of the

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Star Wars Fans

If she doesn't understand this level of love dude, you're better off without her...

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I Can Fix It...

Fixing Patricia's flat iron. Little was accomplished besides being positive that it is now, not functional...

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When Words Mean Other Things

I was talking to a lamp supply store nearby about replacement parts for an overhead light. I was feeling a little strange as the conversation progressed."Hello This is Jim, can I help you?""Yes I need to get a replacement hickey.""How big""They come in different sizes?""There is a wide variance in these things""Well I threw my hickey out when it broke""How big is your nipple""I don't know. Can

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Letter To The Creator Of Pizza

Dear Pizza Creator-I wanted start off by telling you that I have no idea where I should be sending this correspondence. It seems that while many folks have claimed this title, few people live in any certainty of your validated existence. The Ancient Greeks, Byzantines and some guy in NY all claim a controlling stake in the great pizza creation debate. Personally I don't really care, I was just

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Weekend Musing

I normally don't use this space for journaling. I know that most of you don't come here to hear a grown man whine about his life. We've all got troubles, so I should just suck it up and come up with something witty to post. Come on geek boy, make us laugh...As noted previously, I'm in a allergy melt down. The pretty flowers are in bloom and and my nose and sinus track are in full revolt. I'm a

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Benadryl & Coffee Revisited

I’ve decided that if I had the ability to change one thing in all of history, I would make the famous Santa Rosa horticulturist, Luther Burbank a boring banker.

Allergy season is in full swing here in town, and it is especially bad this year as in California we were initiated with copious amounts of rain. Rain makes things wet and the wet things tend to grow real good like. (Forgive me...I'm

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Giveaway Results!

The Giveaway is complete. Thanks to everyone for playing!Last night about 10 Oclock or so I put all the names into my 5 year olds sun hat and had Patricia draw out two names.The first runner up was Stephanie! And will get to choose a pin or magnet for one of my cafepress shops. Allergy to NatureBattle of WitsBeg for BaconBroadswordExtra SpicyFlees from BeesFueled by CaffeineGeek LoveI

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KludgeSpot Giveaway

I'm bored. I feel like giving stuff away. Anyone game?Awesome! As you might know I make pens and things and post them on my WoodMangler site. So I'm going to give away one of my pens.In addition I have some money in my Cafepress account. So I'll give away a second prize. A magnet or pin from any of my Cafepress shops. So how will it work? Simple enough. I would like a caption submitted for one of

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Dream Oracle

Looking for a dream oracle. I had a really weird one last night.I was in a house looking around and I found a scrapbook filled up with my blogs. That alone ranks as strange but it get odder. I see all my blogs in the scrapbooks, done up just like their respective websites.Then I come to this one...Legal Addictive Tigers Pick an animal and heretical relationship.Below that was a picture tiger

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20 Things I'd Rather Do Than Work

I have a great job. I get to do what I love for a living. Still there are days when working is just not the first thing on my mind. Some days while diagnosing servers and tracking network errors my mind wanders to other places...

Checking Facebook for info on your friends latest illness and dinner plans
Hope for an office fire drill. I'm on team BLUE!!
Search the Internet for people to correct.

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20 Signs You're A PC Gamer

You like a good plot line and can appreciate graphics better than console players.Gaming takes energy. Got Caffeine?When the game is really good losing track of a number of hours or occasionally days is not without precedentSave, save, save. It's the gamers mantra.You can crouch, run backwards while firing and still simultaneously jump and reloadYou couldn't use an XBOX controller if your life

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The APTICOM

I found the APTICOM in my companies warehouse. I was immediately compelled to retrieve it and put in in my office. I believe the APTICOM is more than an aging job aptitude grading device. I believe it is sentient. The APTICOM forced me to write this note to my co-workers and let them know of it's arrival. Dear Staff:The “APICOM” has invaded us and decided to take up residence in my office. Much

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Holding for Abuse

I'm stilling in the Symantec Enterprise Support phone que. I've been on the phone for 26:34 at this point indicated by my phones digital readout. In between the mind numbing 50's music remixes (Bobby Vinton is belting out a painful verse of Blue Velet right now) and monotone announcements a perky voice pops on every 3 minutes and informs me:"The customer waiting longest has been on the line for

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Going Back To Geek Bootcamp

Video games. It's my real only purpose for a home PC. Sure I like email and the web, but they do not afford the real computing meat that comes from gaming, the entrée or substantial repast, if you will. Don't misunderstand, I do enjoy the occasional You-Tube side dish, but what is rice without a savory curry of RPG, FPS or RTS? Hollow. Wanting. Mac like, if you will.Anyway. So I have an older PC

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Too Old To Wii

My lovely bride married a geek nearly 13 years ago, and thus was entered into a world she understood very little about. In the passing years she has done a great job of adapting to this strange environment. She now is a full fledged closet trekker, has seen every episode of Stargate SG1 and liked it. She has even read countless sci and fantasy books (and a select 7 novels more than a couple times

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Rat Tails

One night a about two months ago we had a rat in the house. It was a rather large rat. It is no longer with us, but it left a rather large impression on our lives. You see, well...let's start from the beginning. The wife and I where having trouble sleeping. It was early February and the rains were in full force. While we were trying to drift off to sleep we heard a scratching sound. You know that

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Goodbye Facebook

What my email said:Hi Peter,You have deactivated your Facebook account. You can reactivate your account at any time by logging into Facebook using your old login email and password. You will be able to use the site like you used to.Thanks,The Facebook TeamWhat it should have said:Hi Peter,You have regained your sanity and held on to what small shred remains of your common sense. I doubt you'll

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Tired

Dude, I'm so stinking tired!! I woke up this morning and my brain never clicked in. Stupid thing took a sick day."I'm taking a sick day""What?! You can't do that. We have to go in today.""Sorry. Can't help you. I'm Petering out.""Ha ha... Come on, get up. I need you to work the legs and arms and stuff.""Not happening.""I can't function without a brain.""Your job? Sure you can! Like you need me to

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World's FIRST Time Machine!!!

Yes, I do think it's funny...

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What's On Your Desk?

I just turned around and snapped this shot2- Full height, 8 platter, 5 1/4 SCSI drives (1 gig each)1- New Pentium Pro Processor date stamped '94So... What's on yours?

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Fantastic

It seems there is a card for all occasions...

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Oh Progress Bar

Progress bar, oh progress barHow you taunt at meI wait and watch with faith eternalI pray on bended kneeI see you jump from ten to twentyJust to sit at thirty-threeI sit and stare as nothing happensAs if my gaze you seeSoon as I start to push the buttonOnce more alive you'll beOn we go, up through the countNow eighty-five I seeAnd as we reach for ninety-nineI pulse with energyThe screen goes

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iPad

Confirming what real computer users have all known for quite a while now. Yeah...it's probably just my personal Apple envy, but it's still funny.

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Man Week 2011: Manly Check

Manly or Not Manly?Not Manly. And freaking weird...Sorry. No dice.Riding a bear? Possibly Manly. Now if it was alive...Dude! You rock!! Extra points for the disgraced look of your spouse!No. But...funny!Whoa. Clearly not...All depends on what happened next but for now... Nope.Holy fuchsia cape Batman!! No..This one is up for debate.Yes. This is definitely a real man.

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Man Week 2011: Day 4

Happy St. Patrick's Day's! You'll notice Kludge Spot is sporting green in a nod to the Emerald Isle! As we celebrate Irish heritage in America we welcome you to turn your beverages green, talk in a bizarre leprechaun accent, and eat potatoes with boiled meat. Shrug. Of course, this will all be made easier after a few pints of porter! OH, and don't forget to look for that pot at the end of the

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Man Week 2011: Day 3

As I sit here at my desk munching away on my salad, that my wife prepared for me today at my request, I cannot help but wonder how such a meal would be viewed by our manly predecessors. "Nog, I have returned with food!!""Ugh!! What have you slain.""Well actually its a little something I like to call... Green Stuff""Green Stuff?!! Oh!! Lizard?"No...""Where did you kill this strange green beast?!""

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Man Week 2011: Day 2

It seems I may have lost a few of you with yesterday's post. I fully intended it to be amusing and enjoyable. It turned out to be neither. So... I re-wrote it about 2 hours later. It is now just a brief intro for the rest of the week. Sometimes I'm on and sometimes I'm off. It's part of this media form known as blogging. Regardless I'm ready to try again!So for the second post of Man Week 2011

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Man Week 2011: Day 1

Last week Google was pitching March 8th as International Womans Day. I had to laugh. Not because there is anything inheritanty wrong with womans day, but the fact that it need exist at all. Are women in need of any more recognition in this modern age? I think not. They are told from birth that they are special and to embrace being a woman. In a strange contrast, men are told that they should be

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Talking To My TV

If one should visit in my houseThey might surely hear me grouseFor if the televisions onTo it I am naturally drawnAnd for some reason I relayWhatever thought I wish to sayOnce the show has then begunWhether new or just re-runSomething takes a hold of meAnd because of what I seeI call out to give adviceOr tell them that's overpricedOr warm them of a lurking soulBehind them on the lonely strollOr

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Adipose

The best sci-fi alien ever. So I eat whatever I want and I help populate a cute and totally harmless species? I'm in...

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Filling The Gap

Here I sit on a foreign PC looking to fill a gap of time and waste approx 28 minutes and 30 seconds. As I think about it, this is a task for which I am singularly blessed. Who else can burn up spare time like me? So... lets recall what brings us to this lonely desk with neatly places pencil sharpeners, a box of Triscuits and the warm hum of 25 odd computers...Today I was sent out into the wilds

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Loose Thread

Where exactly does that urge come from anyway?

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Death Stalks The Cubicles

Someone is dying in my office. It's happening just feet from my door and I do nothing. A mans life is slowly slipping through his fingers and here I sit and wonder when the last breath of life will be drawn and the overwhelming din will finally cease. Boy, I sound like a pretty heartless prick. In my defense there is an office full of people and no one else is doing anything either.What are you

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My White Board Is Talking To Me...

"Oh goodie, Peter's typing up another white board druggie post...""No, I'm serious.""Serious is not a word I would use to describe this blog.""Then why do you still come here?"Ha! Got you there! So, where was I? Right....Ladybugs the ultimate civil rights law suit!"I am not a LADY!"Wait, white boards. That's it. So here's the deal. For the last month or so my white board has been talking to me.

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Upgrading IOS

There is something both productive and pointless about upgrading the IOS on network switches. I know I'm doing something worthwhile but no one else in the office has a clue why they are getting inconvenienced by equipment that hasn't been rebooted in over 3 years. Try explaining that to a person who sets Windows servers to reboot every two weeks 'just to be safe'"I need to schedule overtime to

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When Raptors Attack

Jurassic Park. Dinosaurs, gene manipulations, chaos theory and screaming. Lots of screaming. I ask you, "What's not to love?"So like the millions of people across the globe, I enjoyed the movie Jurassic Park when it hit the cinemas back in the early nineties. Back when I had to be driven to the movies by my folks or take my life in my hand and ride the city bus. I recall being impressed by how

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Geeky Valentines Day 2011

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Would You Drink It?

So I was sitting here doing my morning routine. Checking stuff on the network and sipping my coffee. I love coffee and have a hard time imagining the morning without it. In fact I can't think of anything that would stop me from drinking it. Even it it became sentient and objected to the idea... I wonder?Would You Drink It #1: Coffee gets mouthy.So as I wait for it to cool it belittles me? How

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The 36" Monitor

So.... I might have acted a little rash. Maybe my geekiness got the better of me. Maybe my lack of sleep affected me. My wife believes I've lost my mind. Who knows she might be right, but I would never admit it to her.

Here's how it went down. I was surfing Craigslist when a posting for a free 36" monitor popped up. I calmly took a deep breath and then mashed out a very well thought out e-mail.

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A Week In Poorly Taken Pictures

Last week for me, was spent in training. During the week I was living out of a hotel with expensive televisions, tiny soaps and a broken microwave oven. It was a interesting place with an imposing building and beautiful facade sporting cheap veneered furniture and a standing queue at the complimentary breakfast counter. Looking back on the pictures I took, I only have one from my hotel room. It's

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20 Things I Learned From Troubleshooting

Do No Harm. You can and will make it worse if you're not careful.Celebrate even small successes. This keeps you sane.Searching the internet for a solution to your problem with a random Microsoft error message is akin to playing Russian roulette with yourself. Your odds pretty much suck.Everything is fixable. Sometimes that means thinking outside the box or other times it means dropping that box

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Excuse Me For Making An Idiot Of Myself...

Awkward. Awkward and outgoing. It's a strange combination, and probably the number one reason I'm so prone to having these horribly embarrassing encounters with people on a regular basis. See my side bar if you need a dose of feel good. After which you will say to you're self something like, "Sweet mercy. This guy is a walking crisis. Do you honestly believe anyone can have that many embarrassing

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Weighing In

I am overweight. Of all the members of my household, my bathroom scale is the most aware of this fact. It is aware of it, because I frequently hoist my girth upon it and ask it a simple question."Have I lost some of me?""No. You seem to have found more of you.""Crap."Apparently over the years it has begun to see a pattern. If I go up. I get on it again, just to be sure."Are you positive?""

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A Marketing Tale

I've been working in IT for over 15 years now and in the corporate environment since 1998. In that time, most places I've been at have not wanted for much in the way of computers. All in all the computers were always up to date and reasonably fast. Certainly adequate for whatever task was needed of them. Irregardless of this effort, nothing was ever good enough for the sheer vanity that was the

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Intimidating Servers

When I first got into computers I was 14 or so. The man who helped us get it all plugged in said something interesting to me."After doing this for as many years as I have" David Smith mused, "I've come to the conclusion that all computers have personalities."As he was 40 and I was 14 I did what all folks my age do. I dismissed the old man of being senile, and set about using my computer to play

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Death by Whiteboard

There is a white board in my office and it is killing me slowly. It’s not really the white board. I would hate to falsely blame the poor thing. In all honestly it spends most of it time looking rather bleak. It’s hanging on to the wall like an unbiased office sentinel. Taking no sides and having no opinions. It's just perched there, empty yet hopeful. Staring at me, begging me to write something

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Who is following me?

I seem to have a line of folks behind me now...I best think up something funny to say. Don't fret. I got some geekdom in the works. :)

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Meh

Think I'm bored of the Luke Skywalker idea. It was fun, but not as fun as I hoped...Now what?Anything you guys want to see more of?

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Secret Diary of Luke Skywalker Pt.3

Dear Diary:Apparently Bothans are like sheep people. It's kinda hard to feel bad about sheep people dying...

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Secret Diary of Luke Skywalker Pt.2

Dear Diary:That crazy snow monster came out of nowhere. He completely blindsided me. What's the freaking point of having Jedi reflexes if a giant tusked, snarling snow monster can catch me unaware. I should have been able to smell him at least two hundred yards away. I'm wondering if I'm ever going to become a Jedi. It's really hard to write hanging upside down...Dear Diary:I'm freezing! Looking

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Secret Diary of Luke Skywalker Pt.1

Dear Diary:Uncle Owen is a Correllian piss ant! Seriously, this is the last straw! If he pulls that "one more season" crap on me again I'm going to flip out. Big help Anut Beru is... Biggs and the other guys all have power converters for their landspeeders. I'm sick and tired of moisture vaporators. Oh diary...I wish Uncle Owen would just drop over dead. Dear Diary:So I'm stuck talking to the

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I Resolve...

Welcome to 2011.I hereby resolve to be less stupid. Yep, that about covers it.

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